Direct Cremations

The increasing popularity of direct cremations. You may save ££££ but what is the true cost of grief?

There has been a lot of publicity in most forms of national media of late in relation to direct cremations. I have seen many adverts really pushing the guilt factor of “not burdening your loved ones with large funeral bills when you are gone”

Of course we know that funerals are not cheap, and funeral poverty is a real thing in this country for many people, BUT what exactly do families gain from having a direct cremation and what exactly do they lose?

In 2007 I travelled to the USA to do some advanced celebrant training after several years of already practicing here. It was there that I first heard the term ‘direct cremation’. I had never heard of it in the UK and was in all honesty quite horrified at the thought of someone being cremated with no prior funeral ceremony. It was explained to me that many families chose to have a memorial ceremony with the cremated ashes, but many didn’t even do that. I could never imagine such a practice coming to the UK, and yet here we are now in 2025 seeing an increase each year in the number of direct cremations taking place.

So what generally happens when you use the services of a national provider of direct cremations? The deceased person is collected and transported to a storage facility which is often 100’s of miles from where they lived, and which may be a warehouse style storage facility in the middle of an industrial estate. The family have no choice of where the cremation takes place, and often don’t even know exactly when and where the cremation is taking place. There will be no hearse and no flowers, just an unattended committal then takes place at an out of area crematorium and the ashes are then sent back to the next of kin. A cheap funeral? Yes – but the true cost, or should I say true loss, is beyond any monetary value

As an experienced celebrant trainer, I often start by asking my students the simple question: Why do we have funerals? and most groups come up with the same common answers..

A chance to say goodbye.
Time to share collective grief with family and friends.
A time to share stories and memories of the deceased.
The opportunity to mark a loved ones death with ceremony and ritual.
The time to show and express that the loss is significant to all those who loved them.
A moment of acceptance when we see the coffin, and participate in the ceremony, allowing the reality of death to become present in our lives.
A time to process a loved ones death and to acknowledge and express our grief, as we transition to a new chapter of our lives without them.
The list goes on…

Truth is, humans around the globe have had ceremony and ritual to mark a persons dying and death for as far back in history as we can go. Even many animals participate in solo or group rituals to mark the death of a family or community member. Clear evidence that there is an instinctive need within us all to participate in a funeral ceremony to commemorate a loved ones death.

The Covid-19 pandemic of 2020 immediately robbed so many of being able to say a proper goodbye to their loved ones either before or after death. I experienced that first hand as I lost both of my parents in 2020 within 7 months of one another. As an experienced celebrant with two parents in their 80’s I had discussed their funerals at length with each of them, but with all the questions and considerations, I had never imagined losing them both so close together, nor both in the middle of a global pandemic. It pulled the rug from under my feet. However as both a mourner and a celebrant, that period brought home to me more than ever before why we NEED a funeral ceremony.

Painful reminders of funerals during the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic

All that said, 2020 with all its restrictions saw a rise in the number of direct cremations, and subsequently we now see a continuing increasing trend for such, and more large corporations offering these ‘budget funerals’ with the emphasis being on taking out a pre-paid plan for such in order to unburden the financial worry from those left behind.

Speak to most experienced celebrants though, and the majority will tell you that they have had numerous conversations with bereaved families along the lines of “we want to arrange a memorial ceremony because Mum/Dad opted for a direct cremation as they thought they were taking away the financial and emotional stress away from us, but its actually made the grief worse, because we haven’t been able to have a ceremony, and haven’t been able to say goodbye”

With increasing mortgage rates and the cost of living sky rocketing, there are few people who haven’t felt the pinch. Hence national providers of direct cremations are gathering speed by placing enticing looking advertising right where people are going to be tempted to respond to it. But did you know, that pretty much every Funeral Director on the local high street can usually offer the same service, at a similar price, but with a lot more attention to detail, with the family still being involved, and being able to know that their loved ones body is being professionally cared for closer to home.

I caught up with one of our own funeral celebrants, James Mooney-Dutton who is also the proprietor of James Funeral Service in Harrow and Wisbech Funeral Service in Norfolk and I asked him how local funeral directors could help bereaved families in planning a direct cremation.

He said “The difference is – your person will be collected by us, and then kept and cared for at our family run facilities. You can visit them in the chapel of rest if you wish, and you deal with us, in person every step of the way. Your loved one won’t be left for hours before collection, left for hours before the national provider can persuade a local funeral director to help them out and collect the person on their behalf, and they won’t be taken half way across the country for a cremation. Did you know these national providers don’t have local staff, local facilities or local crematoriums to look after you? There is nothing necessarily wrong with a direct cremation, if that is the wish of an individual or family – but ring a local funeral director and talk about it, please don’t respond to adverts on TV, radio or in the paper. And if you have already – it’s still not too late to talk to a local firm of funeral directors” .

Local funeral directors will have a wide range of options to suit all wishes and budgets so we would encourage you to speak with them and discuss your needs as the first point of contact. Your funeral director can also put you in touch with a local celebrant or minister who will be able to conduct a memorial service if you wish, and of course this type of ceremony does not have to be held in a crematorium or church, it can be held anywhere; a local hotel, a sports club, a village hall, in the middle of a forest, or perhaps a local wedding venue such as a rustic barn which may have more availability on a weekday. Quite recently I even conducted a memorial at the Goodwood Racetrack in West Sussex, with the deceased gentleman’s family and friends taking to their vehicles after the ceremony and completing a lap of honour around the track.

A lap of honour at Goodwood Racecourse in West Sussex. Included as part of a memorial ceremony, following a direct cremation.

Using a venue such as this also means that unlike a ceremony at a crematorium you won’t be rushed for time, knowing that another family will be coming in behind you in 30-40 minutes. You generally have all the time you need to celebrate and commemorate your loved one’s life.

You can of course hold a full funeral ceremony in, or outside an alternative venue, so that you can still say a proper goodbye to your loved one before the unattended cremation takes place (this is exactly what I did for my parents during the covid pandemic and is shown in the photo below)

(Berkshire Celebrant, Terri Negus conducting her father’s funeral in 2020, prior to an unattended cremation. terrineguscelebrant.co.uk)

Our professionally trained funeral celebrants are here to help you plan and deliver a beautiful and fitting memorial ceremony for your loved one, either before, or following a direct cremation, ensuring you can still celebrate their life and share your memories, your love and your grief, in whatever way you may need and want – visit our member directory today: Find a Celebrant For Weddings, Namings & Funerals UK & Europe